Domestic Violence Story Chapter One

Domestic Violence Story – Chapter One

To show or not to show?  To share or not to share?  After deliberating, it was a no brainer for me to show other women (and men), just SOME of what I have been through.  Yes, a picture tells a thousand words.  But why did it happen?  What did “I” do to cause it?  Was there any domestic violence prevention that could have been done?  Why did he do this?  Many women ask these same questions.

Sometimes there are absolutely NO “logical” reasons why things happen.  Sometimes there are logical reasons.  But none of them make us physically, emotionally, or mentally feel any better after they happen.

Was this the only time?  Well, I would love to tell you it was.  But that wouldn’t be the truth.  And the truth is why we are all here, right?  To find the truth and seek our own solutions to get out.

Were there red flags?  In reflection, “Heck, yes!” 

He was so nice at first.  A gentleman, seriously.  Then we moved in together.  BIG mistake.  By then, financially, times were difficult.  A few months after we moved in, I was laid off from my job.  The man who hired me kept me employed until his wife came back from pregnancy leave, then he let me go and she took over my position.  He never mentioned his plan to only keep me until she returned.

The strain financially did not make my boyfriend happy.  We started getting into disagreements.  Then one night the yelling started.  So I went into the bathroom and packed a bag to go and stay at my girlfriend’s house.  Ahhh, THAT is when it started.  He threw me across the bathroom and I hit my head on the sink and fell between the toilet and the sink to the floor.  I remember staring at my legs and arms.  They were not comfortable in the contorted position in which they landed.  But I was in shock mostly that he so effortlessly pushed my chest and I literally flew across the bathroom.

Instead of hearing “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that!”, I heard, “You’re not f@#$ing going anywhere!”  Obviously, I stayed home.

Please see Domestic Violence Story Chapter 2

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Domestic Violence Shelters by State

Dear Innocent Victim of Abuse and Violence,

Here is a site that lists domestic violence shelters, state-by-state,
so you can call and seek refuge from your abuser before it’s too late!

Please call and find out your options!

Time is of the Essence for Your Safety and Freedom.

God Bless,


Domestic Violence Story Chapter Two

Domestic Violence Story – Chapter Two

Things seemed to calm down, and he even “allowed” my friends to come over to our place for the first time in the 6 months we had been living together.  I wanted things to go so well, I worked very hard to get the food and drinks ready and cleaned diligently.

My boyfriend was a recovering alcoholic and was clean and sober for 7 years.  When my friends arrived, I served the drinks.  He said he didn’t want one, but I said it was okay for him to have just one.  I didn’t want him to feel awkward or left out.

Okay, you get it, right?  That’s where I messed up.  And having no previous knowledge of what a serious alcoholic was about and thought having a couple drinks wouldn’t be such a big deal, I certainly learned my lesson.

(It took 3 days for my eye to open just to see if I was blind from the injury.  There was cornea damage, the thank The Lord, I still had my sight.)

I served everyone drink after drink that night, and everyone, including my boyfriend, had a fantastic time!

When everyone was walking out the door was left open, and I noticed my dog, Pebbles, got out.  We lived right on a main road, and I was frantic and asked him to get Pebbles right away.  I can’t recall what his reply was, but he didn’t go outside to look, so I said it again, “Pebbles got out, we need to get her now!”

I was cleaning all the beer bottles up all over the coffee table, and I was standing right next to the couch.  All I remember is being thrown into the couch on my back and held down. His knee was pushed down on my chest and one of his hands was squeezing my arm.  I couldn’t move at all.

Then it began.  What seemed to last hours probably only lasted a solid 60 seconds and about 20 or more punches.  I will never forget one punch, it sent my eyeball crashing right into my head!  It hurt so badly, I thought my eye was gone.  I felt my eye being shoved so hard into my brain it was brutal.

(This was taken more than 2 weeks after the incident.)

But he didn’t stop.  I weighed 115 pounds and was 5′ 6″ tall.  Hardly a match for a guy, even though he was shorter than I was.


The punches to my face, neck and chest continued.  I remember saying “I’m sorry, please forgive me.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.  Please.  I love you.” 

Then he stopped suddenly!  He took a beer bottle and broke it over his head.  (A sudden rush of guilt came to his mind?  Who knows!)

No time for making up or worrying about HIS head, I ran as fast as I could out of the apartment!

I ran to the convenience store area which was in our parking lot. Apparently the store owner saw me bleeding and yelling for help and called 911. 

At just that moment, all of my friends came back and looked at me like they saw a ghost.  Only about 15 minutes passed by since they left.  It turns out they took my dog, Pebbles, as a joke.  It didn’t turn out to be so funny though.  But she was okay, so I was VERY relieved about that!  She was my pride and joy!  If you seriously want unconditional love, animals don’t let you down! :o)  So I won’t let them down, that’s for sure.

My Pebbles…I got her when she was 5 weeks old.  She fit in the palm of my hand.  We were together for 17 years, some of the best years of my life.  I was very blessed to have her love in my life.

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Please See Domestic Violence Story Chapter 3

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Domestic Violence Story Chapter Three

Domestic Violence Story – Chapter 3

5 police cars, 10 policemen.  Searched the vicinity, never found him.  When they left, he showed up.  He looked at me and started screaming, “Who the hell did this to you!?”  I only had one eye to look at him with and disgustingly looked at him while all my friends were there and said, “You did.”

He didn’t believe it.  He said he went into a “blackout.”  Well, my opinion of whether or not alcoholics actually do go into “blackouts” is neither here nor there.  But something happened that was never fully understandable, that’s for certain.

What happened to him?  Well, this was a while ago, and California didn’t impose strict standards on domestic violence abuse the way they do today.  That’s too bad, isn’t it?

He got 30 days of picking up garbage on the side of the road.  BUT, since he had a doctor’s note saying he had a bad back from a car accident, he actually only wound up doing 15 days doing desk duty.  He would leave early because the woman running the program said he was a hard worker. 

Trying to get a job (remember, I had been laid off) looking beat up was impossible.  I didn’t even leave the house for two weeks, and he shut off the phone so I didn’t have anyway to even make phone calls to get a job.

There’s more to the story, but this gives you an idea as to how quickly domestic violence can happen.  Or was it quickly? 

If you see red flags, get out now while you can.  My story doesn’t get happy, and things didn’t get much better, not for quite a while.

I’ll tell you more about my life again soon, but please don’t repeat my mistakes.  Because you will end up with a very difficult, unhappy, low self esteem, codependent life like I have lived for far too long.

Trust me, You DO Deserve Better!

God Bless,


P.S. – These pictures were taken 2 weeks after the initial incident. I can tell you this, makeup doesn’t hide these injuries.  I went to the supermarket because I had no food, so I tried to look decent.  I had two people come up to me and ask to take me to the emergency room and wanted to know who just did this to me.  When I told them it happened two weeks ago, they didn’t believe me.


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Domestic Violence and Men who Kill their Wives or Girlfriends

Domestic Violence and Men who Kill their Wives or Girlfriends

Men who kill their pregnant partners in cold blood are pure unadulterated evil in human form. There are no two ways about this. About 20 per cent of pregnant women who died during their pregnancy were murdered by an intimate partner.

I had to read this a number of times to let it sink in, because it seems so unbelievable that there were that many men in relationships, who were capable of killing their partner and their unborn child. It is no longer an isolated or rarest of rare cases; it is endemic.

According to the Washington Post about 1,300 pregnant women were killed by their partner during the 14 year period from 1990 – 2004, which means about 1300 men were able to turn around and snuff the life out of someone they were supposed to have loved the most.

Domestic violence statistics provide compelling evidence to this horrible fact.

What is even more demonic than this fact is the lenient sentences they get based on pleas such as spur-of-the-moment impulse, insane rage, provoked beyond endurance, jealous rage, and similar fairy tales that judges seem to lap up like hungry street dogs lap up three day old meat.

We have heard plenty about how they do it. Let us try to figure out why they do it. Are all men potential spouse murderers? Don’t they all have the same hormones and drives? These are basic questions that crop up.

No, men are not natural born killers. Even men who have issues such as growing up amidst scenes of domestic violence, consume alcohol, are physically aggressive with other males, pick fights in bars, are into physical sport such as boxing and wrestling, et cetera, do not compulsorily turn their violent tendencies on their partners. In fact there are men who tone down considerably in the presence of their loved ones.

So who are the men who do it, and what prompts them? These would be the sick psychopaths who are totally self-centered, unemotional, and incapable of empathy. You can recognize some traits in them such as a tendency to be pathological liars, an elevated sense of self, sociopathic in the extreme.
These tendencies only get stronger and deeper with time and cannot be changed by you.

Recent studies in genetics have pointed to certain physical characteristics that may be indications of cruelty and unemotional behavior. According to this, men with short thick necks, short arms, and hands in relation to the rest of their body, may possess the ability to exhibit cruelty. Now this is may be refuted by advanced studies, but for defenseless women clutching at straws, it may prove useful to keep this in mind. Use your own powers of observation. Check out domestic violence news and pictures of spouse murderers such as Bobby Cutts Jr. and others and see if this proves to be valid.

These men are not able to think of or care about anyone. Even when they have caused hurt to another, they can only talk about how inconvenienced they have been by the whole episode. A pregnancy is for them, a major inconvenience.

What is the happiest moment of a healthy man’s life is for these freaks a disruption that should be ended, a wrong move that has to be corrected. If it means killing the woman and the baby it is as big a deal as running over the neighbor’s dog while rushing to meet an important appointment.

He might not be upset about it in any major way, except be inconvenienced and annoyed as if he were forced to mow the lawn, when all he wanted was to hang in the hammock all day for the rest of his life. Everything in his life including the woman is there for his convenience—the car is not supposed to break down, the woman is not supposed to get pregnant, it is not supposed to rain on his picnic, period.

Steer clear, my friends, steer clear of he who does not think you are important; who thinks you can be won over easily with charm, flowers, and flashy objects; who hurts you happily and doesn’t regret it; who comes onto you while still with another woman or just fresh from a break up.

Before he starts exerting physical pressure and violence on you, he’ll do it verbally and emotionally.

If he compels you verbally to do things you do not want to, take it as a warning and beware.

Domestic violence and murder
are not too far away for these men. Do not hang around for it to get better, it won’t.

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Is Verbal Abuse a form of Domestic Violence

Is Verbal Abuse a form of Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence is an issue that brings to mind violent acts committed by a big strong male against a weak, fragile woman, cowering in a corner, helpless to defend herself against the onslaught. She would most probably have a bloodied lip, a black eye or cheeks flaming from a series of tight slaps. In extreme cases she would be lying prone on the ground, perhaps unconscious, having hit her head as she fell.

If this case were to become public, there would be much deserved sympathy and offers of help for the poor, broken victim.  That is how it should be. In this situation, the signs of domestic violence are there for everyone to see.

Imagine if we take the same couple out of this situation and put them in one where the same emotions rule, but the man never lays a finger on the woman. No, he does not believe in physical violence where you would see signs of abuse. But he does not see anything wrong in calling her rude, insulting names.

He vents his frustrations and mindless anger in a stream of invectives, each word punctuated with abusive, four-letter words. He tells her how pathetic she is, how completely useless, ugly, fat, sexless, unattractive, stupid, lazy and worthless he sees her.

He resorts to throwing objects on the floor or flinging them against walls, barely missing her, but succeeding in creating a sense of terror. Then he storms out the door slamming it shut with a deafening thud, leaving her flinching. If she were to bring this up, she would be faced with the question, “Did he hurt you?” to which she would have to sadly nod in the negative. To actually qualify as a violent act, verbal abuse would have to draw blood, or so it would seem. Clearly the definition of domestic violence must be re-written.

Verbal abuse–sticks and stones they say, but in fact it is spears and swords that hit you right where you live, in your heart. You do not see any actual bleeding, any wounds or scars to show outside trauma.  Even the victim may come to believe that all is well…forgiven and forgotten. But the pain never leaves.

The perpetrator believes it is all right, since he has not actually slapped or beaten or even touched the so-called victim. He self-righteously believes he is a much better person than the spouse-beater. Domestic violence statistics would not include gentlemen like him in their list of perpetrators.

In the domestic front, husbands do it; wives do it. They hurt each other with words and cause endless pain, which carries over into the other spheres of family life, even affecting children. But society condones it as normal marital behaviour, or something that is simply not worth serious consideration.

While an occasional flare-up might be thus swept under the rug, the horrible trauma caused by constant and calculated verbal abuse is a slow poison that kills the victim by increasing degrees psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes even physically.

Why, then, is there a reluctance to recognize this extreme form of abuse as an act of violence?

The answer probably lies in the fact that domestic violence against a woman is so widely prevalent that it ceases to horrify. It is just another domestic violence story to be soon forgotten by all, except the victim.

In some situations, the perpetrator even shows signs of remorse and comes back home with a bunch of flowers or maybe even diamonds, depending on the social situation, completely expecting  to be forgiven and welcomed back gratefully. The victim desperately hoping that it will never happen again complies.

She is going to be such a good wife that he can’t but love and cherish her. Yeah right; when pigs fly. The drama is repeated again and again, until one fine day, one of two things happen: she either breaks down completely, or it finally dawns on her that she really shouldn’t have to put up with this.

If she is lucky and uses only her mind and disregards her heart completely (it wasn’t telling her the truth, anyway), she will get the heck out of this destructive cycle while she is still in one piece–at least physically, if not emotionally.

The harm caused by this virulent form of abuse is hard to quantify, and therefore not considered a cause for concern by many outsiders. The only witness to the damage done is the victim herself. The one who causes the damage is not even aware of the repercussions of his actions, and in most cases doesn’t really care even if he was aware.

A common justification is that it was said in a bout of anger and he “didn’t really mean it”, or, “it just came out that way and was not meant to sound like that.” But that is cold comfort for the abused who continues to suffer silently, while pretending desperately that all is well, not only to society, but herself, too.


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Domestic Violence Awareness

Domestic Violence Awareness

Creating awareness is always a practical step to curbing anything from an epidemic to the lack of government policy. Domestic violence, an acknowledged yet invisible crime committed right under the collective noses of the law and society, often seems to get away mostly disguised as some other minor offence. Until recently, the law of the male, for the male, and by the male, found it well nigh impossible to even consider it a crime. Women who complained and attempted to use some legal provision to save their lives were treated as hysterical wrecks who imagined monsters under the bed.

To what do we attribute this large scale of insensitivity? Cold hearted cynicism and sheer bull-headed stupidity might pop into mind as appropriate answers, but it is, at least in some cases, a little more than that. It is the unawareness of the magnitude of this crime that causes some people to dismiss the stark depravity of abuse simply out of hand. To the majority, it is unimaginable that these things actually happen. Mainly, it could be because personally speaking they cannot imagine treating their spouse or any living being in this manner.

Or it could be that they are due for a reality check as far as recent social documentary is concerned. These people exist in their own bubbles, far removed from the reality of suffering and pain in the lives of the less fortunate, almost like the “let them eat cake” episode in French history. But the real problem arises when these uninformed airheads adorn positions of power and pass judgements based on their myopic, ill-formed opinions on what is decidedly the worst crime perpetrated against womankind.

Therefore, it is vital that any domestic violence imperative address this section of perpetrators who undermine the cause of victims by their callous ignorance. Domestic violence awareness needs to be broadcast to every section of society from Supreme Court judges to school boys. Most people have no clue; others have the wrong understanding. To some people it is actually a fact of domestic bliss that husbands occasionally push their wives around a bit, and then make up with a pathetic bunch of flowers.

A very good place to start would be right from the portals of education. What could be more important than learning to treat a fellow human being with respect and love? Domestic violence education in schools should be made mandatory. Given the fact that this social evil is a silent spectre haunting most kids’ lives, this could make them feel less of a deviant creature, and find more acceptance. This could also take care of the issue of teen domestic violence in dating relationships as they grow older. Basic decency which should come naturally has somehow become extinct, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be drilled or ingrained like the multiplication tables or the periodic table into the young child’s psyche.

This has to be followed up at the University level with courses leading to degrees, diplomas or certificates in domestic violence. Women’s Studies still concentrate on political issues of inequality in the workplace, often failing to address burning issues of personal violence and victimization. Young women graduates come out feeling empowered and enabled only to feel absolutely helpless against the various forms of personal violence they have to face in real life. Their education has short-changed them by not preparing them or even educating them about the facts of domestic violence.

Local committees, clubs and other organizations address issues of road safety, park maintenance, civil liberties, AIDS, Hepatitis virus, and such which are all highly commendable. In the same vein, they could give importance to creating domestic violence awareness.

Power point presentations on domestic violence are an effective way to leave lasting impressions on the minds of the viewer. Flyers, media advertisements, cultural activities, mime shows, art work, songs and poems are all effective and imaginative ways that various organizations and the government can create awareness and inform the public that it is indeed a serious crime that needs stopping.

The Australian government has a sensitive and brilliant message on popular media where the slogan goes, “To violence against women, Australia says No!” which leaves no one in doubt as to the seriousness of this vile act.

The month of October which is meant to be domestic violence awareness month gets less coverage than soccer or NBA, which serves to give the impression that it really is not that important. Domestic violence training for law enforcement officers should be mandatory and detailed rather than haphazard and slipshod. Only a scientific awareness of the issue can engender their total participation in a domestic abuse case.


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Domestic Violence Attorney

Domestic Violence Attorney

A competent domestic violence attorney is an integral part of your fight to regain your life and cut loose from the storm of violence ruining your life. Most domestic violence victims may not be in a position to afford or even look for an efficient domestic violence lawyer. They may be severely restricted in their endeavor either by their lack of experience in this social climate, or may be impeded by their need to hide their whereabouts from the abuser.
However, once you’ve moved to a shelter or some other safe place, it is important to find a good attorney and place your case in his or her hands, and follow the vital advice you receive.

Domestic violence organizations such as the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence offers free legal assistance to victims who have no way of helping themselves. The services of able lawyers, well-versed in the Prevention of Domestic Violence Act, the Violence Against Women Act, and other relevant pieces of legislation then take over your case and fight for your justice, acting in your best interests.

Attorneys provided will first ensure you are a genuine victim under the prevailing parameters of the law. Once this is established, they help you initiate a domestic violence complaint and any restraining order you may want taken against your abuser.

These domestic violence lawyer’s initiate legal proceedings by preparing your case for trial, gathering evidence, and subpoenaing witnesses. They also help with getting you temporary child support, custody, and alimony. You may even win compensation for destroyed property, medical expenses, loss of income, and legal fees.

Sometimes false domestic violence charges are brought against innocent men by their partners, in order to gain favorable outcomes in divorce settlements, or purely out of vindictiveness. A guilty plea can change the life of the innocent victim, who in this case would be the alleged abuser.

Domestic violence charges stick with a vengeance and cannot be withdrawn even by the one who pressed charges. This is meant to protect genuine victims who might be bullied by the abuser to drop charges. In the case of an innocent man, this can be terribly traumatic for everyone involved. This is when he would need the services of an extremely qualified domestic violence defense attorney, to get him out of this unwarranted mess.

Domestic violence charges are one of the toughest and carry severe collateral damage, not to speak of the irreparable harm done to an innocent person’s name and good standing in society.  If convicted, it can result in a prison sentence, sex offender registration, loss of fire-arms license, and hefty fines.

A good domestic violence defense attorney can make sure your rights are protected and justice is served.

Whatever your case maybe, it is very important to provide your attorney with the truth, as far as you know it. They do not like being surprised in court by the opposition, and if caught unaware, it could affect the outcome of the case. It is absolutely essential that your attorney knows the situation as much as possible, with any evidence you can provide (pictures, videos, taped telephone messages,witnesses by co-workers, friends, and family).

Defense attorneys might employ various tactics in order to win the case for their clients, and these proceedings might prove quite upsetting to the victim.

Seeing the abuser in court itself might prove a hardship for the victim. But it is important to put your faith in the justice system and in your attorney who has the legal expertise and the experience to ensure you get fair representation and stop the abuse in your life once and for all.

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Domestic Violence Men Do Not Fear the Law

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Why are Men Going on the Offensive in Spite of Increased Public Attention on Domestic Violence?

In simple terms this could be answered thus: it is because when caught in the frenzy of violence, the abuser really does not care what anyone thinks, what the law can do, or any other consequences.  When bent on murder, he is beyond caring whether he lives or dies, and this is backed by the increasing numbers of homicide-suicides, where the abuser kills the partner and then kills himself.

In the early stage, he is often emboldened by the victim’s tendency to cover up rather than take any action, or even stand up for herself. Most domestic violence victims just concentrate on getting the relationship back on keel and are inclined to bend over backwards to achieve some sort of peace.

At this stage, both abusing and making up are the prerogatives of the abuser. These actions are performed on his terms, and the victim is not in a position or even wanting to take charge. Gradually, the abuser extends full control over the victim, he comes and goes, beats and loves, is charming and ferocious as and when he pleases. He is well and truly the subject and she is the confirmed object. So with nothing to check his advancing control and violence, he turns full-fledged abuser.

Once he has reached this stage, no vestige of normalcy remains in his consciousness. He is totally drunk with power, and not scared to use it. This explains why offenders disregard domestic violence restraining orders with impunity, and continue stalking and harassing the victims.

Centuries of patriarchal conditioning and living in a male-dominating society now equips him to act with impunity with no fear of reprisal. The considerable amount of support and succor that a victim now receives is miniscule when compared with the mammoth proportions of biases and prejudices ranged against her as a norm in society.

The “boys will be boys” mentality with which the patriarchal systems view domestic violence cases makes it even harder for victims to receive justice. This explains the comparatively lenient sentences meted out to offenders as a matter of routine. Victims do receive sympathy, especially when grievous bodily harm is perceived, but the offender is not condemned harshly enough. He is let off with a rap on the knuckles when he deserves a kick in the backside.

Another noteworthy fact is that domestic violence offenders are to be found among police officers, domestic violence attorneys, advocates, the judiciary, and even among political leaders. A support system for victims that may be set up by these officials who moonlight as abusers doesn’t inspire much confidence. “So what’s the big deal with the black eye? I gave my wife one the other day, and she just put on more eye-shadow. Deal with it woman!” This may be what’s going on in their minds while uttering a politically right, “Tsk…tsk!” 

Harsher punishments and stricter battering programs are called for in order to dissuade domestic abuse. The evils of this vile act have to be publicized by consistent domestic violence awareness programs.

Society has to stop condoning violence as a natural male thing, and condemn victims as having “asked for it.”

Domestic violence episodes happening around you should not be ignored or disregarded as a private matter, but considered a potential murder and informed to relevant authorities. If a woman you witnessed being beaten up yesterday winds up dead today, you are morally responsible for not taking action that may have prevented the abuser from proceeding this far. You do not have to dive into the middle of an episode and play action hero; it only takes a discreet phone call to the domestic violence hotline.

As long as people do nothing to intervene, abusers control the victim as well as the spectators. The victim may be helpless to break this vicious control, but a spectator or witness surely does not have to be controlled by the abuser.

Take action, stop abuse, and feel the glow that comes with having done your good deed for the day.

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Domestic Violence Stick to Your Story No Matter What


Be Prepared to Stick to Your Story — No Matter What

Woman! Thy name is Frailty. Shakespeare sure knew what he was talking about. One can only wish he had elaborated a bit more while on the topic, because it is very hard to fathom why a woman who has been battered to within an inch of her life would retract all complaints she had made against her abuser, sometimes even within the hour.

She would still be sporting the bruises, and the bleeding would have been barely stemmed, signs of domestic violence still evident, but there she is claiming she had actually just tripped down the stairs while dancing with joy over her privileged existence.

Well, if that is how she sees it, how can anyone else do anything to help? How can you help someone who does not want to be helped? Anyone with half an eye can see the victim needs help, and there might be at least a half-dozen who want to help, out of which there will be a couple who can actually do something practically useful to get her out of this mess. But the one who should initiate action to help has chosen not to. Right now in such a situation the victim and the perpetrator are hand-in-glove, which is preposterous.

The victim in this case, needs to be educated on certain facts of life. She still loves him. She believes that he loves her too, which he may at some level. He is the father of her children, and they need a father. Breaking up a family is not a nice thing to do.

Her religion forbids it. How can she bring domestic violence charges against her own husband? He is going to change, she just knows it. She cannot take the children away from him. She needs the money. Nobody else would want a loser like her. While all these fears may have an element of truth in them, it should not in any way compel a woman to stay in a relationship where she knows she is going to be abused and not respected.

Let us check out these statements and attempt an answer to each.

Yes it may be true that she loves him. Love is a powerful emotion. It does not leave when it finds an excuse to leave; rather it stays on continuing in hope. It may also be true that he loves her in some distorted version concocted by his sick mind.

The fact is that when someone loves you, you cannot stop smiling. If you are anxious and crying all the time, it surely can be taken as an indication that whatever he feels for you, it is not love in the true sense of the word.
Yes, the children need a father; but one they can love and respect, not one they fear and loathe.

No religion asks that you stay and get abused day in and day out. Every religion has rules for both the husband and wife. The combination of religion and domestic violence has not been interpreted in any sensible manner.

The husband’s commitments and responsibilities are usually conveniently disregarded. Marriage vows take two people to fulfill. If only one is attempting to keep all the vows it’s not a marriage; it’s more like a New Year’s resolution. There really is a big difference between the two.

Him, change? Not in a million years, unless he becomes aware of his problem, and actively seeks serious counseling.

Yes, she should take the children away from him and as far away as possible, so they are spared the ill-effects of all the violence.

Yes, it is possible, especially as an aftermath of long periods of abuse, that you lose your self-esteem. But don’t give up. With help from bodies such as domestic violence non-profit organizations available all over the country take charge of your life, your children. Take action, and stick to it.

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