Domestic Violence Story - Chapter One




To show or not to show?  To share or not to share?  After deliberating, it was a no brainer for me to show other women (and men), just SOME of what I have been through.  Yes, a picture tells a thousand words.  But why did it happen?  What did "I" do to cause it?  Was there any domestic violence prevention that could have been done?  Why did he do this?  Many women ask these same questions.

Sometimes there are absolutely NO "logical" reasons why things happen.  Sometimes there are logical reasons.  But none of them make us physically, emotionally, or mentally feel any better after they happen.

Was this the only time?  Well, I would love to tell you it was.  But that wouldn't be the truth.  And the truth is why we are all here, right?  To find the truth and seek our own solutions to get out.

Were there red flags?  In reflection, "Heck, yes!" 

He was so nice at first.  A gentleman, seriously.  Then we moved in together.  BIG mistake.  By then, financially, times were difficult.  A few months after we moved in, I was laid off from my job.  The man who hired me kept me employed until his wife came back from pregnancy leave, then he let me go and she took over my position.  He never mentioned his plan to only keep me until she returned.

The strain financially did not make my boyfriend happy.  We started getting into disagreements.  Then one night the yelling started.  So I went into the bathroom and packed a bag to go and stay at my girlfriend's house.  Ahhh, THAT is when it started.  He threw me across the bathroom and I hit my head on the sink and fell between the toilet and the sink to the floor.  I remember staring at my legs and arms.  They were not comfortable in the contorted position in which they landed.  But I was in shock mostly that he so effortlessly pushed my chest and I literally flew across the bathroom.



Instead of hearing "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that!", I heard, "You're not f@#$ing going anywhere!"  Obviously, I stayed home.


Please see Domestic Violence Story Chapter 2


Domestic Violence Products, Spread Awareness

*** A Donation from Each Sale Goes to Domestic Violence Shelters ***

        

Things seemed to calm down, and he even "allowed" my friends to come over to our place for the first time in the 6 months we had been living together. I wanted things to go so well, I worked very hard to get the food and drinks ready and cleaned diligently.<< MORE >>

5 police cars, 10 policemen. Searched the vicinity, never found him. When they left, he showed up. He looked at me and started screaming, "Who the hell did this to you!?" I only had one eye to look at him with and disgustingly looked at him while all my friends were there and said, "You did."<< MORE >>

According to the Washington Post about 1,300 pregnant women were killed by their partner during the 14 year period from 1990 - 2004, which means about 1300 men were able to turn around and snuff the life out of someone they were supposed to have loved the most.<< MORE >>

He vents his frustrations and mindless anger in a stream of invectives, each word punctuated with abusive, four-letter words. He tells her how pathetic she is, how completely useless, ugly, fat, sexless, unattractive, stupid, lazy and worthless he sees her.<< MORE >>

The Australian government has a sensitive and brilliant message on popular media where the slogan goes, "To violence against women, Australia says No!" which leaves no one in doubt as to the seriousness of this vile act.<< MORE >>

These domestic violence lawyer’s initiate legal proceedings by preparing your case for trial, gathering evidence, and subpoenaing witnesses. They also help with getting you temporary child support, custody, and alimony. You may even win compensation for destroyed property, medical expenses, loss of income, and legal fees.<< MORE >>

Once he has reached this stage, no vestige of normalcy remains in his consciousness. He is totally drunk with power, and not scared to use it. This explains why offenders disregard domestic violence restraining orders with impunity, and continue stalking and harassing the victims.<< MORE >>

She would still be sporting the bruises, and the bleeding would have been barely stemmed, signs of domestic violence still evident, but there she is claiming she had actually just tripped down the stairs while dancing with joy over her privileged existence.<< MORE >>

Children exposed to domestic violence are ripped out of the innocent confines of their childhood and planted bang in the middle of adult experiences at their goriest. The trauma this engenders can be studied, researched and analyzed till you are blue in the face, but it doesn't do much for the actual victims. These kids have lost their grounding and have been unmoored before they were ready for an independent life.<< MORE >>

There is an insatiable need in him to know what you are up to, and he will leave no stone unturned to find out. He may go through your personal belongings; your computer, your papers and documents; even steal or hide your jewelry. With a strategically placed surveillance camera you would have solid proof rather than gut wrenching doubts. You can spare yourself the stress of suspicion and act quickly to cover your tracks, and keep your precious property out of harm's way. You can even take it a step further and plant things you want him to find thus misleading him.<< MORE >>

He proceeded to propel her towards the exit and then the battering began; in the car park, in the car, while driving, and after they reached home, for 2 continuous hours. She managed to lock herself in the bathroom and call her father, before he broke the door in and shot her.<< MORE >>

If you are crying most of the time, you are not (I repeat, NOT) in a love relationship; and many people who know you will tell you that you are just a glutton for punishment. In such a scenario, this verbal abuse is emotional domestic violence, which takes a serious toll on your health. (Trust me, I know.)<< MORE >>

Fortunately, the enormous impact that these horrific episodes have on children has brought about this change. As a result of this amendment the Domestic Violence Witness Project was initiated, where child witnesses are interviewed to gather evidence and help victims access the various resources set up to help them. These interviews are conducted by trained police officers and Services to Children and Families personnel.<< MORE >>

What began low key has now over 2000 domestic violence shelters and service programs with head quarters situated in Denver, Colorado, targeted towards providing a safe non-violent environment for battered women and children. The NCADV is an organization working towards a violence free society, by means of empowering individuals as well as communities towards the fruition of this goal. It recognizes the fact that domestic violence stems from the infernal need of control over others in the family.<< MORE >>

I am donating a Portion of Every Domestic Violence Product Purchase to Domestic Violence Shelters and Resources to Give Abused Victims a Safe Way Out. There are bumper stickers, t-shirts, mugs, calendars, cards, and many other high quality items.<< MORE >>

Your place in this world will not be determined by a sick, abusive person. It will be determined by your strength to get through this situation in the most positive way you can find. You are bound for greatness. Most of us don’t know that, and they walk about in life aimlessly, wondering why they are here.<< MORE >>

Short tempers. Anger. Resentment. Grieving for lost comrades. Why did the government send me there? Why is my life ruined? I can't cope with life now. My spouse or partner doesn't understand. Why did I get injured? I can't work now. My partner wants love and affection. I can't give it anymore. All I see is bloodshed. All I see is pain and anguish. No one understands. My life will never be the same. I wish I would have died. But I want to live. But not like this.<< MORE >>

The elderly are literally at the mercy of their care-giver, and this makes elder abuse the most heinous and dastardly of all. How would you feel if you were helpless, lying there, and a family member or care giver was taunting you, not cleaning or washing you, not feeding you, yelling at you and making you feel worthless so you wanted to die, or “forgetting” to give you your medication? If you couldn’t even get up, what would you do if someone did this to you? Or worse, what if they laid their hands on you and hit you? It is well worth remembering that your day will soon come, too.<< MORE >>

According to the Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics report of 1994, over two thirds of violence against women was committed by an intimate (someone who is more than a friend) or a person they already know (someone you have not been intimate with). Of these, about 28% were husbands or boyfriends, 35% were acquaintances, and 5% were relatives.<< MORE >>