Domestic Violence Witnesses

Seeing is believing; and nothing you see can make you believe that the human being is an animal capable of infinite cruelty, as a domestic violence episode can. War and acts of willful destruction are other examples of human depravity, but there is a distance that separates the viewer and the incident which somehow makes it seem less real.

When an act of violence takes place in your living room, and it is not on TV, but right before your eyes, you are a witness, a participant experiencing every blow, cringing at every insult, flinching at every crash, crying as if all that pain were your own.

Domestic violence witnesses are often children ranging from toddler to teenager. But there are cases where the victim's mother, sister or friend can happen to be at the scene. There have been instances where a female friend or relative have had to face the ire of the abuser either for supporting the victim, or challenging the attack.

Rarely, if ever, would an attacker choose a moment when there might be someone his own size around. He would make sure that the only witnesses around are people he can push around and would be intimidated by him. This would usually be some feeble elderly person, or female relative or friend, and of course, his own little children.

Children are the most common witnesses to the violence inflicted by the father on their mother.  When a disagreement arises as is wont to in any normal relationship, the sane parents take care to resolve it behind closed doors, and in hushed tones so as not to wake the sleeping children.

But in the case of domestic violence, the father might be banging the mother's head against the chair on which the child is seated. That is how callous they can be with regard to the feelings of the little ones. The terror they create in their little hearts is none of their concern. At that demented moment all that the abuser can think of is hurting the victim. The last thing on his mind is the effect it has on the witnesses.

Due to this tendency on the part of the abuser, children come to witness all sorts of violent acts ranging from sexual assault to murder. The repercussions thus engendered have been posed as the cause of intergenerational domestic violence epidemics. 

According to the New Jersey Department of Community Affairs, about 81% of men who abuse their partners had fathers who abused their mothers. A survey conducted by the Massachusetts Dept. of Youth Services found that children who grew up in a violent domestic atmosphere had a 74% chance of committing criminal assault.

Based on these domestic violence statistics, it is easy to see that violence begins at home, just as surely as charity does. Interviews with child victims of domestic abuse reveal the feelings of frustration, fear, and anger they feel when witness to such violence. Long after it is over, and years after they experienced the trauma, the emotions it engendered continue to lie just below the surface of their minds.

It is another sad statistic that about 40% of youth aged 19 -29 in state prisons are there for killing their mother's abuser.

It was due to the rampancy of this vile situation involving children that the domestic violence law was amended to make domestic abuse in front of a child a felony. Earlier, acts of domestic violence were considered misdemeanors. 

Fortunately, the enormous impact that these horrific episodes have on children has brought about this change. As a result of this amendment the Domestic Violence Witness Project was initiated, where child witnesses are interviewed to gather evidence and help victims access the various resources set up to help them. These interviews are conducted by trained police officers and Services to Children and Families personnel.

However, it has to be noted that not all batterers grew up witnessing domestic abuse. It is only one among a whole lot of other lesser known triggers. The obvious proof to this would be that there are sons of abusers who grow into strong, sensitive men who genuinely value their family, and would do anything to protect them. Sometimes a man stoops to domestic violence for the simple reason that he really is just a bad guy.