Domestic Violence Stick to Your Story No Matter What
Be Prepared to Stick to Your Story — No Matter What
Woman! Thy name is Frailty. Shakespeare sure knew what he was talking about. One can only wish he had elaborated a bit more while on the topic, because it is very hard to fathom why a woman who has been battered to within an inch of her life would retract all complaints she had made against her abuser, sometimes even within the hour.
She would still be sporting the bruises, and the bleeding would have been barely stemmed, signs of domestic violence still evident, but there she is claiming she had actually just tripped down the stairs while dancing with joy over her privileged existence.
Well, if that is how she sees it, how can anyone else do anything to help? How can you help someone who does not want to be helped? Anyone with half an eye can see the victim needs help, and there might be at least a half-dozen who want to help, out of which there will be a couple who can actually do something practically useful to get her out of this mess. But the one who should initiate action to help has chosen not to. Right now in such a situation the victim and the perpetrator are hand-in-glove, which is preposterous.
She would still be sporting the bruises, and the bleeding would have been barely stemmed, signs of domestic violence still evident, but there she is claiming she had actually just tripped down the stairs while dancing with joy over her privileged existence.
Well, if that is how she sees it, how can anyone else do anything to help? How can you help someone who does not want to be helped? Anyone with half an eye can see the victim needs help, and there might be at least a half-dozen who want to help, out of which there will be a couple who can actually do something practically useful to get her out of this mess. But the one who should initiate action to help has chosen not to. Right now in such a situation the victim and the perpetrator are hand-in-glove, which is preposterous.
The victim in this case, needs to be educated on certain facts of life. She still loves him. She believes that he loves her too, which he may at some level. He is the father of her children, and they need a father. Breaking up a family is not a nice thing to do.
Her religion forbids it. How can she bring domestic violence charges against her own husband? He is going to change, she just knows it. She cannot take the children away from him. She needs the money. Nobody else would want a loser like her. While all these fears may have an element of truth in them, it should not in any way compel a woman to stay in a relationship where she knows she is going to be abused and not respected.
Her religion forbids it. How can she bring domestic violence charges against her own husband? He is going to change, she just knows it. She cannot take the children away from him. She needs the money. Nobody else would want a loser like her. While all these fears may have an element of truth in them, it should not in any way compel a woman to stay in a relationship where she knows she is going to be abused and not respected.
Let us check out these statements and attempt an answer to each.
Yes it may be true that she loves him. Love is a powerful emotion. It does not leave when it finds an excuse to leave; rather it stays on continuing in hope. It may also be true that he loves her in some distorted version concocted by his sick mind.
The fact is that when someone loves you, you cannot stop smiling. If you are anxious and crying all the time, it surely can be taken as an indication that whatever he feels for you, it is not love in the true sense of the word.
Yes, the children need a father; but one they can love and respect, not one they fear and loathe.
No religion asks that you stay and get abused day in and day out. Every religion has rules for both the husband and wife. The combination of religion and domestic violence has not been interpreted in any sensible manner.
The husband’s commitments and responsibilities are usually conveniently disregarded. Marriage vows take two people to fulfill. If only one is attempting to keep all the vows it’s not a marriage; it’s more like a New Year’s resolution. There really is a big difference between the two.
Him, change? Not in a million years, unless he becomes aware of his problem, and actively seeks serious counseling.
Yes, she should take the children away from him and as far away as possible, so they are spared the ill-effects of all the violence.
Yes, it is possible, especially as an aftermath of long periods of abuse, that you lose your self-esteem. But don’t give up. With help from bodies such as domestic violence non-profit organizations available all over the country take charge of your life, your children. Take action, and stick to it.
Domestic Violence Products, Spread AwarenessYes it may be true that she loves him. Love is a powerful emotion. It does not leave when it finds an excuse to leave; rather it stays on continuing in hope. It may also be true that he loves her in some distorted version concocted by his sick mind.
The fact is that when someone loves you, you cannot stop smiling. If you are anxious and crying all the time, it surely can be taken as an indication that whatever he feels for you, it is not love in the true sense of the word.
Yes, the children need a father; but one they can love and respect, not one they fear and loathe.
No religion asks that you stay and get abused day in and day out. Every religion has rules for both the husband and wife. The combination of religion and domestic violence has not been interpreted in any sensible manner.
The husband’s commitments and responsibilities are usually conveniently disregarded. Marriage vows take two people to fulfill. If only one is attempting to keep all the vows it’s not a marriage; it’s more like a New Year’s resolution. There really is a big difference between the two.
Him, change? Not in a million years, unless he becomes aware of his problem, and actively seeks serious counseling.
Yes, she should take the children away from him and as far away as possible, so they are spared the ill-effects of all the violence.
Yes, it is possible, especially as an aftermath of long periods of abuse, that you lose your self-esteem. But don’t give up. With help from bodies such as domestic violence non-profit organizations available all over the country take charge of your life, your children. Take action, and stick to it.
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